Chasing Perfect (Someday#4) Read online

  Chasing Perfect

  by

  Melanie Shawn

  Copyright © 2015 Melanie Shawn

  All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the original purchaser of this book. No part of this may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without permission in writing from Melanie Shawn. Exceptions are limited to reviewers who may use brief quotations in connection with reviews. No part of this book can be transmitted, scanned, reproduced, or distributed in any written or electronic form without written permission from Melanie Shawn.

  This book is a work of fiction. Places, names, characters and events are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locations, or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Disclaimer: The material in this book is for mature audiences only and contains graphic content. It is intended only for those aged 18 and older.

  Cover Design by Wildcat Dezigns

  Copyedits by Mickey Reed Editing

  Proofreading Services by Tiesha Brunson, Raiza McDuffie, Jill Grabert Estes

  Book Design by BB eBooks

  Published by Red Hot Reads Publishing

  Rev. 1.0

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Epilogue

  Embracing Reckless

  Other Titles by Melanie Shawn

  About the Author

  Prologue

  Sandy

  Ten Months Ago

  “We did it, Sandcastle. We’re really adults now.”

  I grinned at my best friend Hunter’s use of his longtime nickname for me. He loved giving me nicknames; he felt like it connected us. Like it created a secret, magical world with a population of two. Right now, we were sitting on a wide, flat rock at our favorite local swimming hole, our place, drinking beers, and celebrating the fact that we had graduated high school that afternoon. It felt like we were in a secret, magical world that was only open to the two of us.

  “I turned eighteen last month, and you’ve been eighteen since Christmas. I’d say we’re both highly experienced adults by now.”

  He sliced a look towards me that clearly communicated he didn’t agree with my sentiment. “It’s hard to feel like an adult when you have to report for homeroom or get a note from your parents. Nah. It’s all been child’s play. Now that we’ve graduated from high school, we’re really and truly adults. We were basically faking it up until now.”

  “Yeah, I guess being in a place where they can still give you detention, is pretty much a hashtag adultfail. But that’s behind us! We’re the real deal now.”

  We stared at each other for a moment, waiting for that momentous truth to sink in and feel real.

  For me, at least, it didn’t.

  Hunter grinned wryly. “Feel any different?”

  I laughed. “Nope. Not even a little. You?”

  “Nope. I still feel like the same screw-up kid I was before the ceremony.”

  “I wonder when that’ll change.” I was a little worried, and it came through in my voice.

  I mean, hey, I had college coming up, not to mention plenty of other Big-Time Grown-Up responsibilities that were about to land on my plate. I needed my brain to flip the “grown-up” switch inside of me before life flipped the switch in the outside world!

  “Here’s a mind-fuck for you: What if it doesn’t change?” he asked. “Ever. What if we always feel like screw-up kids inside and we’re always just going to be faking it?”

  His words carried too much truth for me to handle at that moment, so I played them off as a joke, throwing my head back and laughing. Not wanting this conversation to take a turn down Too Serious Road and head straight to Worry Junction, I jumped in the water, turned, and splashed him. Hard.

  “That’s what I think of your prediction!” I giggled as I immediately started flailing my arms to get as much distance between myself and Hunter in a feeble attempt to avoid his inevitable retaliation.

  His eyes sparked with the challenge, and he stood up on the flat rock, peeling his shirt off. “Oh, you’re gonna get it now!” he yelled, and jumped in after me.

  I shrieked and continued paddling away, but not before noticing that his chest was significantly more cut than it had been the last time I’d seen it. A twinge fluttered, beginning in my belly and then shooting to the area directly south as I made this observation—completely involuntary, trust me—and it made me…uncomfortable.

  Things were never like that between Hunter and me, and I certainly didn’t want them starting now. Pushing the thought down to the deepest recesses of my brain, I hoped that I could escape it as easily as I was escaping Hunter himself by gliding effortlessly away from him through the water.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t think Hunter was attractive—he definitely was. His golden-brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin, and strong, lean physique were all, well, for lack of a better word…hot. Like scorching, four alarm fire hot. And not to be shallow, but they would’ve complemented my bright blonde hair, blue eyes, and equally tan skin nicely. Yep, we would’ve formed the perfect visual of a California Beach Power Couple if we’d ever gone there. But we hadn’t. Ever.

  And there was a reason for that. More reasons than I had the time or strength to count, actually. The main one being that I had to get the fuck out of Arcata as soon as I could. Hunter was the opposite. He dreamed of making a life here, in the small town where we’d both grown up. If I let myself fall for him, I’d be stuck here forever. The thought of that made me feel so trapped that I couldn’t even breathe.

  The fact that I’d always been able to sense that he was a little in love with me, made things more complicated. I worked to keep a part of me guarded so that I didn’t lead him on. He meant the world to me; he was my very best friend. I didn’t want to do anything that might screw that up and sour our friendship.

  It was that simple. Except right now, that explanation felt as far from simple as you could get. Now, I saw him in a different light. A light that I was trying desperately to ignore and not play the role of moth to.

  After a few seconds of splashing around, we settled into a calmer mood. We swam and floated languorously, without saying anything, simply enjoying the silence and each other.

  Hey, maybe we were becoming adults.

  Or maybe not, as evidenced by the fact that the niggling thought I’d been trying to escape, popped up again. My identical twin sister, Brandy, had always been able to compartmentalize things in her mind, put them into a nice, neat little box, lock it, and throw away the key. I’d never had that gift. The instant I tried to shove something into a mental box, the faint strains of a tinny, mechanical rendition of “Pop Goes the Weasel” would start playing in the back of my brain. Then, a short countdown later, whatever I was tryi
ng to keep hidden, would explode out of my mouth like a verbal jack-in-the-box.

  As much as I tried to ignore and simply brush aside my whoa, holy shit! reaction to Hunter’s newly-developed pecs and abs, the thought refused to be ignored.

  Maybe it was the fact that I was two beers in. Or maybe I was on a high from graduation. Or maybe I just didn’t want to fight my newfound feelings for the one temptation that could cost me everything. Whatever the reason, I found that I couldn’t resist the compulsion to push it a little.

  “So,” I said in a carefully-crafted, casual tone, “I see we haven’t been skipping arm day or ab day.”

  Hunter’s brow furrowed and he tilted his head to the side.

  Before he could reach up and place his hand on my forehead to check for a fever, I explained, “Your chest. It’s cut. I would even go as far as say chiseled. When, pray tell, did that happen?”

  He saw fit to bust out the cocky grin, which irritated me.

  Great.

  I needed to take him down a peg or two before his ego got entirely out of control.

  “Slow your roll there, turbo. It’s an observation. Not necessarily a compliment.”

  Even as the words escaped my mouth, the new fluttering in my belly (and below) told me I was lying. It was a compliment. And it was one my hormones desperately wanted the opportunity to expand on.

  Shit, I thought. What. Precisely. The. Fuck. Is happening here? Is this the beer affecting me? Or am I seriously just noticing that my best friend for over a decade has suddenly gotten hot?

  I could see by the look on his face, that my words had done nothing to diminish his cockiness. The fact that he had stood up in the waist-high water and was flexing his arms, first one and then the other, water beading up and rolling down his chest, was my other clue that his confidence hadn’t taken too hard of a hit. It was also the thing that was amping up the fluttering sensation in my lower half to a heavy pulsing feeling.

  My eyes roamed over the contours of Hunter’s defined chest and abs, and in a split second, I decided that I didn’t care if it was the alcohol making me bold or the intoxicating feeling of freedom that came with my so-called adulthood. I was going to go for it.

  I wanted this. I wanted him. Doing what you want, when you want, and damn the consequences—that’s what being an adult was all about.

  That’s what every adult in my life had led me to believe, anyway.

  So yeah. Screw it. Years of keeping Hunter safely at arm’s length—romance-wise—be damned. I was feeling buzzed, I was feeling free, and I was feeling horny. And I was going for it.

  Game on, Hunter.

  Smiling coyly, I drifted leisurely over to him in the water. When I reached him, I stood up, making a point to stand inappropriately close to him. I wanted to invade his space. I wanted him off-balance.

  I could see right away that it was working. Lifting my hand, I trailed my fingernails slowly down his arm then raised them back up before doing the same to his abs. His perfect chest rose and fell as his breathing became shallower. I lifted my eyes to meet his, boldly holding his gaze as my fingertips softly continued their exploration farther down his abs.

  “I see you’ve also embraced manscaping,” I breathed as his smooth muscles twitched beneath my touch. “I like it. I like a guy who takes care of himself.”

  He swallowed so hard that his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. The sight made me want to bob on his apple—or peel his banana, I guess.

  Somehow, I doubted he could’ve gotten his voice to work even if he had wanted it to. His pupils were dilated, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a telltale bulge forming at the front of his swimsuit.

  I grinned and took a step backward. It wasn’t that I wanted to give him breathing room or space to think. The opposite, in fact. I wanted him to be even more discombobulated, but this time by the sight of my body rather than the nearness of it.

  In the course of our lives, Hunter had seen me in a bikini roughly a thousand times. Sure, I’d caught him stealing glances before. He’s a guy, after all. But now, I had his undivided and awestruck attention, and the power rush that came with that was like molten lava in my veins.

  I’d never felt sexier in my entire life than I did at that moment.

  I spun lazily, giving him the full three-sixty, and I sensed his eyes on every square inch of my skin as I did.

  “I’ve been working out a little, too,” I spoke in a sex-tinged tone. “And grooming is also very important to me.” When I completed the turn, I faced him again, my voice taking on a more matter-of-fact vibe, “But I’m not completely shaved. I don’t really like that look, you know? Too unnatural. I just like it perfectly trimmed and groomed. A pretty kitty is better than a bare one, don’t you agree?”

  He nodded dumbly. I probably could’ve gotten him to agree to jump off the Empire State Building at that moment.

  “Are you just saying that? I mean…the thing is…you have no basis for comparison.” I felt my own breathing grow shallow. I knew I was playing with fire, but apparently, I liked the flames because I heard myself ask, “Shouldn’t you really see it if you’re going to offer an opinion?”

  His eyes widened, and he finally spoke. His voice came out in a sandpaper rasp, and it contained an intensity that made the very place I was just discussing the aesthetics of, tighten up with a sweet ache. My nipples hardened immediately, and the stiff peaks must’ve been visible through my thin bikini top, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t embarrassed. I liked it.

  “Sandy, what are you doing?” he growled.

  A grin pulled at my lips, I loved seeing him on the edge and knowing it was me that got him there. Innocence, that I even surprised myself with, suffused my words as I answered, “I just thought you might want to see what you were offering your opinion about.”

  “You did?” The seductive threat in his simple, two-word sentence made me even hotter. It wasn’t a passive statement. No. His demanding tone made it clear that it was a command. If I wasn’t serious about this, I needed to stop fucking around.

  Well, he didn’t need to worry. I was serious. As a big fan of show, not tell, I decided that I knew just the way to put his sweet, sexy mind at ease.

  Instead of answering with words, I reached my hands behind my back and untied my string bikini top in one swift motion. Never breaking eye contact, I lifted it over my head and tossed it back onto the flat rock we’d been sitting on only twenty minutes (or was it an entire lifetime?) ago.

  I put my hands on my hips, cocking one to the side. My chest was prominently displayed as I faced Hunter proudly, drinking in the amazed look on his face as his eyes devoured my breasts for the first time. My nipples hardened further under his gaze, which drew a low moan from him. I was proud of my ability to turn him on like that—Hunter made me feel proud to be a woman.

  I ran my hands seductively up my taut belly until they brushed just below the swells of my bare mound. Then, I traced my fingertips along the outline of my breasts in an effort to tease Hunter. It worked. The heat that flared in his eyes, spurred me on to take it further. Not taking my eyes off of him, I lifted my hands and gently cupped my breasts. The heat from his stare shot an arrow of pleasure straight between my legs, which inspired me to take this even one step further. I began rubbing my nipples in slow circles with my thumbs.

  A primal sound escaped from Hunters throat, and he breathed, “Oh, shit,” in a way that seemed involuntary.

  My core clenched at his reaction. I loved the way it felt to have Hunter looking at me, knowing that I was turning him on to the point that he was cursing beneath his breath.

  This whole display started to show Hunter just how serious I was; and then it heated up even more when I saw how crazy watching me was driving him. But that changed when I realized that my hard nubs were so sensitized, that the feeling of my thumb pads rhythmically brushing over them was almost more than I could bear. I bit down on my lip as my head fell back and I heard a small whimper escape from my throat
.

  Apparently that was all it took to push Hunter past the point of no return, because the next thing I knew he’d crossed the distance between us. My brain was so fogged with arousal that the sounds of his splashes didn’t even register. The first thing I was aware of was his powerful hands on my wrists, gently yet forcefully pulling my hands away from my breasts so he could take my nipples into his mouth.

  His tongue moved hungrily over the stiff tips, sending shock waves of the most delicious pleasure racing through my body. I arched my back in an effort to get closer to him, to push myself even more fully into the devouring warmth of his mouth.

  He snaked one strong arm around my waist and pulled me up along his body, sweeping me off my feet, quite literally. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and my arms wound around his neck. I did this at first from a need to balance myself and hang on, but almost instantly, it transformed into a passionate desire to hold him as close to me as I possibly could. I wanted to press my skin to his skin, every inch of it, with nothing separating us but the thin sheen of lake water that still glistened on both of our bodies.

  Hunter moved confidently from one breast to the other, giving each of them his full attention. He nipped and sucked, swirling the stiff tip of his tongue around each nipple, until I felt I would explode from the exquisite torture of it.

  “Hunter…oh, God, this feels better than I ever imagined it would,” I groaned, arching my back in ecstasy.

  When he drew back, I looked down to see what could’ve possibly made him stop using his tongue in that incredible way—and, more to the point, how I could convince him to start again.

  When my eyes lighted on his face, I saw that his cocky grin was firmly back in place. “So, you’ve thought about this, huh? You’ve imagined this.” His husky tone caused a powerful electric current to buzz through my body.

  My brain was a little hazy, but I still had my wits about me. I wasn’t going to give him the complete satisfaction of a totally unqualified confirmation. So I decided to turn it back on him.

  I grinned. “Okay, yeah. I’ll admit that, from time to time, you’ve been on rotation in my girl-version of a spank bank. My clam credit union, if you will. But don’t pretend like I haven’t been in yours. You’ve thought about it.”