Fire and Love (Hope Falls Book 13) Read online

  Deanna and Kenzie had been inseparable every summer from grade school on. From June to August they were two peas in a pod. If you saw one, you saw the other. But even his cousin had had no idea about his and Kenzie’s secret relationship. No one had at the time, and there was no reason to unearth it now.

  Each time her name had come up, he’d ended the conversation. He didn’t want to know anything about her. He’d tried going down that path once, making sure that she was happy, and it broke his heart. He had no intention of trekking that territory again.

  “You both made it very clear that neither of you wanted to discuss or have anything to do with the other.”

  He tried to hide the pain that squeezed in his chest when he heard that Kenzie hadn’t even wanted to know how he was. It shouldn’t surprise him. His actions, no matter how well intentioned, had hurt her. He knew that logically. But hearing his cousin say that she wanted nothing to do with him was still about as enjoyable as a knee to the nuts.

  “Obviously, you two share a history that I have no idea about and even though it’s been driving me crazy not knowing what it is, although I have a guess, I’ve respected both of your wishes. But…” She took a deep breath.

  He was in no mood for dramatic pauses. “But?!”

  “But, she’s the one that’s doing the documentary, and she’s going to be here with her crew any minute. Surprise!” Deanna smiled weakly.

  “She’s what?” Eli felt the “surprise” hit him like a punch to his gut.

  “She’s coming here. To Hope Falls. She’s a documentary filmmaker, just like she always talked about being, and she’s good. Her last film on the education system in the US went to Sundance and won a bunch of awards. Anyway, this one is focused on Gabe’s comeback story.” She pointed her finger at his chest in an accusatory manner. “In my defense, I tried to tell you. I wanted to give you a heads up, but you didn’t want to talk about her. You shut me down every time I even mentioned…”

  Eli watched as his cousin’s lips were moving but he didn’t hear a word she was saying. The only sound he heard was a loud rushing in his ears. His limbs were numb, and he wasn’t even sure he was blinking. He’d treated people in shock but had never experienced it himself. All it took was Mackenzie Sutton coming to Hope Falls.

  Chapter 2

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  “It’s so beautiful here,” Theo commented as they wound their way up the narrow two-lane highway with breathtaking scenery on each side.

  “Mmmhmm,” Mackenzie Sutton murmured as she stared in a daze at the pine trees passing them by.

  “You gonna try and see anyone while we’re here? Your family?”

  Her friend and filmmaking partner’s voice sounded far away, but his words managed to penetrate her foggy mind. “Mmmhmm.”

  She planned on visiting her brother, grandmother, and even her estranged father. She was looking forward to seeing some more than others, and she was sure that the feeling was mutual. Honestly, she wasn’t sure how any member of her familial trio would receive her.

  Her brother Kenny loved their weekly Skype sessions, but he did not love any changes in his routine. The staff at Happy Acre Farms had repeatedly told her his absolute favorite thing to do—besides working with the horses and dogs—was to brag about the fact that he talked to his sister on his computer. She wasn’t sure how he’d take her showing up in person.

  Her grandmother had never been her biggest fan. And since she’d “thrown her life away” and defied her father’s wishes to marry rich and instead chose to go to NYU and pursue a career in film, she’d slipped even further out of her good graces. A decade had passed since she’d—gasp!—followed her dreams, but if there was one thing the great Candace Eleonore Sutton was good at, it was holding a grudge. Thankfully, in addition to her master-level grudge holding, she was also a stoic woman who rarely showed emotion and liked to keep up appearances. So chances were that even if she were unhappy about Mackenzie being here, she’d never let on.

  As far as her father went, he would expect to see her, but that was different than wanting to see her. They’d only recently been on speaking terms. She’d completely cut him out of her life when she found out that he’d either misused or outright stolen her brother’s inheritance. Since it was her father she honestly didn’t know which, but he had been the trustee and the money was gone. Their estrangement had ended when she’d reached out to him after her grandmother had called to let her know he’d suffered a heart attack. It was followed by two mini strokes. And it’s not like he was in good health to begin with as he had high blood pressure and a bad liver thanks to years of drinking. She’d never considered him an alcoholic but she’d also never seen him in the evenings without a glass of whiskey in his hand.

  Their reconciliation was tenuous at best. Things were strained and awkward and keeping the peace with him was like walking a tightrope, blindfolded, while carrying groceries. At any moment there was bound to be a disaster. So this wasn’t exactly a homecoming she was looking forward to.

  “It must be weird being back here after so long,” Theo commented.

  “Mmmhmm.”

  Weird was one word for it. She’d visited her brother several times in Napa and her grandmother in San Francisco, but she hadn’t been back to the Sacramento area since the day she’d packed her bags and driven across the country to college.

  “I know this is a stupid question, but are you okay, darlin’?” His tone grew somber.

  “Mmmhmm,” she lied.

  No. She was not okay.

  She and Theo had begun their road trip six hours ago. In that time she’d been filled with anxiety and battling emotions that she’d honestly thought she’d worked through in counseling and denial. Memories that she’d done her best not to think about for years, and even fooled herself into believing that she’d forgotten, were all crowding her head. It turned out her forced amnesia hadn’t worked like the charm she’d thought it had. Her past had lain dormant, waiting like a ticking time bomb ready to detonate.

  That bomb had first been activated six months ago when she’d run into the man that had inspired her to grab a shovel and bury her past in the first place. Emotions, feelings, and memories are a funny thing. Before the fight at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, she would’ve told you that she was all good. She would have sworn on a Bible under oath that she’d built a solid foundation for her life and she was just hunky-dory standing on it.

  Then she saw him. Eli Bishop. The boy that stole her heart when she least expected it and the man that shattered it like fragile glass beneath a steamroller at her most vulnerable. And in the blink of an eye—literally, she blinked and he was in front of her—her foundation was rocked to its core. One look into his endless blue eyes and her name falling from his perfect lips was all it took to form deep cracks that fractured her soul.

  Since that moment, she’d been working double time to try and patch the damage that his voice, his stare, and his presence had all caused. She’d believed that she’d been successful at cobbling herself together into a healthy emotional state.

  She’d been wrong. Those fractures were still there. Driving through her hometown had burst her self-made dam and her system flooded with memories and emotions that she’d done her best to hold at bay.

  Closing her eyes, Mackenzie concentrated on the heat of the morning sun pulsing on her face like a strobe light as it peeked out between the large trees. She tried to center herself. She focused on being in the present in order to get to a place of Zen. She did her best to clear her mind of all negativity. She directed all her mental energy toward meditating on her diaphragm moving in and out and all the other crap she’d learned in her nearly decade-long practice of Yoga.

  As always, the peaceful serenity she desperately sought felt like it was just out of her grasp. To her great frustration, most of the benefits that she’d gained from her practice were physical. She’d never quite been able to tap into the transcendent mental benefits. It was as if the tips of her fi
ngers were grazing the Promised Land but the more she stretched to reach it, the farther away it moved. And every time she managed to grasp it, it slipped through her fingers like grains of sand. The harder she tried to hold onto it, the faster it disappeared.

  “Why aren’t you talking? Is this an Invasion of the Body Snatchers situation?” Theo teased. “What’ve you done with my friend?” His voice rose. “Are you in there, Kenz? Come back to me!”

  She knew that Theo meant well and was joking around to try and snap her out of her uncharacteristic melancholy mood. But just because his heart was in the right place didn’t mean his attempts didn’t irritate her.

  They did.

  They also provoked self-pitying questions that she hadn’t pondered since she’d not only lived under her dad’s roof but also under his thumb.

  Why do people only love me when I’m smiling and amiable?

  Why do I always have to be on?

  Why can’t I have an off day?

  Why am I held to an unattainable standard?

  The more that she dwelled on those old frustrations, the more agitated she grew.

  So much for ommming my way through this…

  It looked like Zen was not in the cards today.

  Logically, she knew the source of her sensitivity had nothing to do with Theo or his bad taste in jokes. It had everything to do with his humorous attempts at snapping her out of her funk hitting nerves that she’d built callouses over but right now felt exposed.

  “Kenz, I’m serious. Are you okay? And don’t say mmmhmm.”

  She could feel him staring at her. When she glanced over at him she saw that he was looking at her like she was about to sprout another head and she snapped, “Watch the road.”

  His eyes widened before he did as she’d so rudely suggested.

  “Sorry, I’m just…” She tried to figure out how to explain what was going on with her, but to do that she’d have to reveal more than she was ready to. “I’m just dealing with some stuff.”

  He looked relieved to hear her actually say something. His fingers loosened then tightened again on the steering wheel. “Stuff, huh? Anything you want to share with the class?”

  “No.” She shook her head.

  “What’s the use of having a brilliant, insightful best friend that has been likened to being the Oprah of his generation—”

  “Likened? The only person who says that about you is you,” she pointed out as a grin began to pull on her lips.

  She rarely got into bad moods, but when she did, Theo had historically known how to pull her out of them.

  “Exactly,” he confirmed as if his stamp of approval made it legitimate. “So come on Gayle, tell Oprah your problems.”

  Her problems…let’s see, the past that she’d believed was dead and buried was having a Zombie Resurrection in her mind, but she wasn’t about to feed those suckers by giving them live sacrifices and exposing them to anyone. Her plan was to shoot them or cut off their heads or however you killed Zombies.

  “I’m fine.”

  “Okay, but you know I’m here if you need me.” He made the same promise he’d been making for over a decade.

  Theo was more than just her filmmaking partner. He’d become her closest friend. He’d seen the good, the bad, and the ugly and he’d always just been there. She hoped that he’d say she’d done the same for him.

  They’d met each other at orientation at NYU during one of the lowest points in Mackenzie’s life. She was heartbroken, homesick, and hellbent on not letting anyone know that she was either. The chip on her shoulder had been so big she was surprised that Theo had been able to see past it. But he had. Not only had he seen past it, he’d seen right through it.

  Growing up, she’d always colored inside the lines, so to speak. She’d done exactly what she was expected to do. Never questioning. Never rocking the boat. That all changed when her world crumbled and she escaped to college. All bets were off. Her only goal was to make it through each day having as much fun as possible.

  On one particularly out of control night, about a week into the school year, Theo ran into her at a party after she’d done one (or five) too many Jäger Bombs. He’d made sure she got back to her dorm safely. She only remembered bits and pieces of that night, but there were flashes of him holding her hair while she puked. Of him forcing her to drink water and eat mini donuts he’d found in her junk food stash. And of her waking up during the night to find him asleep on the floor beside her.

  The next day she’d woken up around one in the afternoon with a massive hangover, and he’d taken her out for “breakfast,” which happened to be a pizza joint on campus. They’d instantly bonded over their shared love of pizza, sarcasm, cheesy pop music, and The X-Files.

  From that day on, they’d been inseparable. They’d been each other’s constant through scholastic crises, bad haircuts, horrible roommates, loss of parents, one failed marriage, and countless breakups. Neither one of them had anywhere near healthy relationships with their families so they’d become each other’s family.

  Besides being friends, they’d started Sunday Night Films their senior year at NYU and had been working together ever since. Their production company was named after the day of the week The X-Files aired when they were growing up. They’d toyed with calling it The Truth Is Out There Productions, which they’d thought was doubly clever because they were a documentary film company, but they decided that it was too on the nose. Not to mention trademark issues.

  “Welcome to Hope Falls,” Theo read the sign that sat a few yards ahead of them beside the highway.

  For the past month or so she’d known she might be coming to Hope Falls. They had followed Gabe Maguire’s story for a year, carefully documenting every minute as he prepared for his comeback fight after beating cancer. But until yesterday, they weren’t sure they would be able to complete it. The project had taken longer than expected because of unforeseen complications that resulted in Gabe’s comeback fight being postponed twice. Their initial funding had dried up. Then yesterday the financing they desperately needed to continue not just their current project but their company miraculously came through.

  “Home sweet home for the next month.” He let out a loud sigh before continuing, “Hey, don’t the hosts of that show live here?”

  Home Sweet Home and Home Sweet Vacation Home were two of Mackenzie’s favorite shows to binge watch. “Ben and Lauren? I’m not sure. I know that Karina Black does.”

  “She does?” His jaw dropped as he pretended to be shocked. “I can’t believe you’ve never mentioned it before now.”

  She’d mentioned it. Several times. Karina Black’s music was the soundtrack of Mackenzie’s college years. She’d probably listened to Karina’s debut album Love Spell at least a thousand times. It’d been years since she’d allowed herself to play it in its entirety. It was yet another trigger to times that she’d tried to forget, but all she had to do was close her eyes, and she was right back in her dorm room, lying on her bed, listening to the lyrics that were the soundtrack to her heartbreak.

  “Are you gonna go full Stamos if you run into her?” Theo asked. “I’m just asking because I want to be ready with the camera if you do.”

  “That was a long time ago, and I wasn’t expecting to see him,” she protested. “It’s not every day that Uncle Freaking Jesse is standing behind you in line.”

  Freshman year of college she and Theo were at a coffee shop in Tribeca and she’d maybe, sort of, hyperventilated when John Stamos tapped her on her shoulder and complimented her. Well, he complimented her shirt. She’d been wearing a vintage Beach Boys Tee and he’d told her, “Nice shirt.”

  That innocent observation combined with the brief physical contact had a domino effect that started with her hiccupping—which she did when she was nervous—and that morphed into hyperventilation—which occurred when she was excited. It ended with her passing out cold—which inevitably happened if she didn’t get the hiccupping and hyperventilating under
control. But, as embarrassing as it was to lose consciousness in the middle of a hipster coffee shop in front of her childhood crush, she stood by the fact that it was Uncle Freaking Jesse.

  Still, it wasn’t her finest moment. And Theo hadn’t let her live it down.

  She’d been trying to prepare herself in the event she did, actually, meet Karina. Thankfully, she wasn’t going in blind. Her closest childhood friend lived in Hope Falls and was friends with the superstar. She had the inside scoop and assured her that Karina was a cool chick.

  That was the one good thing that had come out of her unexpected reunion with Eli. She’d reconnected with his cousin Deanna Bishop.

  The whole thing felt like it was being orchestrated by an outside force. Kismet, maybe. Mackenzie didn’t believe in coincidence. She was fairly sure reconnecting with Deanna and coming back here was the universe’s way of telling her it was time to face her past. She’d tried to erase a huge chunk of her life from ever existing, but the truth was…it had happened.

  “Seriously though,” Theo gave a dramatic pause. “I’m going to have the camera ready at all times. If you go down, I want it saved for posterity this time.”

  Mackenzie rolled her eyes. “That’s not going to happen. Deanna said that Karina’s down to earth and friendly.”

  “So was Stamos and we both know how that ended. You flat on your ass. Out cold.”

  “Shut up!” Reaching across the console, Mackenzie swatted Theo playfully.

  “Hey!” Theo faked outrage. “You know I’m a lover, not a fighter.”

  She laughed as she glanced over beside her. She took a moment, stared at his profile and wondered for probably the millionth time why there’d never been a spark between them. He was undeniably attractive with sandy blond hair, a strong jaw, steel-blue eyes, and a smile that she’d seen weaken many a girl’s knees. Besides his physical appeal, he was sensitive and funny with Southern charm and just a splash of bad boy that made him irresistible to the opposite sex. Or most of them, anyway.