Educating Holden (Wishing Well, Texas Book 11) Read online

  So, for the last couple of months, I’d been putting myself out there. Did I want to date a bunch of nose pickers? No. But I’d always been of the mindset that if I didn’t like something in my life, I changed it. I had my mom to thank for that outlook.

  Maggie Calhoun had always been a fan of positive thinking and motivational sayings. Decades before Etsy or Pinterest, every morning she would write down a new Morning Motivation on a chalkboard she’d gotten from a yard sale and hung up by the front door, so we’d see it before we headed out into the world. And even before the book The Secret had come out, she raised us to believe that if you wanted something, you had to envision it and basically think it into being.

  “You know, this is strike two,” my sister said matter-of-factly.

  “What?” I asked, not sure what she was referring to.

  Molly continued looking down at her phone but lifted up her pointer finger. “Strike one, he picked his nose.” Her middle finger popped up making a V. “Strike two, he’s late.”

  “He had a meeting that ran long.”

  “On a Saturday?”

  “He’s in real estate.” I could feel that my eyes were still misty, so I dug into my purse for a tissue but came up empty. Normally I was stocked, but an ungodly hay fever season had drained my supply. I hadn’t expected the movie to make me so emotional but hearing all of those people talk about the great loves of their lives had hit home to me. “Do you have a tissue?”

  Molly finally glanced up from her phone, when she did her brow furrowed. “Are you crying?”

  “Yes.” I sniffed. “I’m not a robot. Unlike you I have feelings.”

  “I have feelings. At the moment, I’m feeling hungry. Wasn’t there supposed to be food served here?” She glanced around, still not answering whether she had a tissue or not.

  “Food? That’s what you’re thinking about.”

  “What are you thinking about?” She appeared just as confused as I was.

  “Are you serious?” I splayed out my arms. “Look around you.”

  In the past couple of years, it seemed like everyone we knew was falling in love and getting married. Case in point, our brother Bentley who had been a very confirmed bachelor was marrying one of my best friend’s Maisy Turner. Maisy’s little sister Delilah had married Sawyer Briggs. And Sawyer’s brother Jackson, who just got engaged was just the latest Briggs to be hit by cupid’s arrow. Out of the nine Briggs siblings, only two were still single.

  “What?” My sister stared blankly at the sea of couples in front of us.

  “Everyone is finding their lobster.” Normally my Friends reference caused my sister to roll her eyes. She hadn’t been a fan of the show, but since we’d shared a room growing up, she’d been forced to watch it.

  But this time she smiled. “See, you’re thinking about food, too.”

  “How are we twins?”

  “I ask myself the same thing all the time,” Molly monotoned.

  Molly and I might look identical with our long blonde hair, hazel eyes, and eyebrows that made my mother’s Greek heritage proud, but that is where our similarities ended. Our personalities could not be more dissimilar. It was as if we’d shared all of our physical genetics but split up the rest of the genes.

  I followed in my mother’s footsteps and believed in positive thinking, dream boards, and actively pursuing your heart’s desires. My sister felt like everything that was meant to be, would be. She didn’t put any effort into making things happen, and to my eternal frustration, it seemed to be working for her. She’d gotten hired directly after college at her dream job. She’d fallen into a steal of a real estate deal and bought her first house at the age of twenty-two. And she never sat at home alone on Friday nights unless she wanted to. Not that she ever dated anyone for very long.

  I’d been the one to receive the romance gene. Molly had never been a fan of love or any of its byproducts. Whenever I got a crush or had my heart broken, she’d look at me with a mixture of confusion and pity.

  It didn’t help that our oldest brother Brady was a womanizing pig. But at least our other brother Bentley had managed to shed his man-whore reputation. He was madly in love with his childhood nemesis, who happened to be one of my best friends. The two were walking down the aisle in just a couple of months.

  I thought their story was romantic, Molly didn’t care. It wasn’t that she was unfeeling. My sister was actually extremely sentimental, just not when it came to people. She treasured memories and mementos and had two storage units full to prove it. I, on the other hand, could care less about things. All of my emotional currency was spent on people.

  One person, in particular, had cost me the most. Holden Reed. But it made sense that unrequited love would be expensive. He was the reason that the film had hit me so hard. I had the sort of love that was talked about, it just hadn’t been returned.

  “Do you really want to find your lobster?” The pitying look was back on my sister’s face.

  “I just want…” Something different. For the past year, I’d felt like I just kept repeating the same day over and over. I saw the same clients, I hosted the same events, I texted the same people. If variety was the spice of life, I’d been living a flavorless existence. All my life I’d wanted to be a mom and have a family, so I’d tried to jumpstart that process by dating. Unfortunately, every man I met paled in comparison to the one man I knew I’d never have. “I don’t know what I want,” I admitted.

  “Maybe figure that out before you drag someone else into your mid-life crisis.”

  She had a point. And I was actually working on that. My mom always said that life doesn’t have a remote control, if you want to change the channel you have to get up and do it yourself. And since love wasn’t something I could control, I’d decided to add a little excitement into my routine by stepping out of my comfort zone.

  “I think I’m going to try naked yoga,” I whispered.

  I’d been toying with the idea for a few months and saying it out loud felt dangerous. That was how boring my life was. Just telling my sister that I was going to do it gave me a thrill.

  “Eww!” she exclaimed, sounding like Jimmy Fallon. “With the old people?”

  “Shh!” I hated that that was how she referred to the restorative yoga class I taught, even though most, or I guess, all, of my students were seniors. “No!”

  My answer only served to make her even more repulsed as her face distorted in horrification. “You can’t do that at the ranch.”

  The other yoga class I taught was for at-risk youths at Reed Rescue Ranch, which happened to be owned by Holden’s older brother Hudson.

  “I’m not going to do it in class. I’m going to do it alone, in my backyard.”

  Molly’s expression did relax, but it morphed into what I could only describe as confusion. “Why?”

  “Because it’s…something new.”

  “Have fun with that.” She pantomimed lifting a glass to me in cheers. “I hope you don’t get any dirt in your lady bits.”

  “I’m not gonna sit on the dirt. I’m going to use a yoga mat.”

  “Sorry, I thought this new adventurous Liv would reject the idea of proper equipment.”

  “Ha ha.” My sister also thought she was a lot funnier than she actually was. My phone buzzed and I pulled it out to see that I had a message from Tyler telling me he was on his way.

  “Is that nose picker?” she asked with a tinge of pity in her voice.

  “Don’t call him that.”

  “Where do you find these guys? Losers R Us?”

  Sort of. I met them on dating apps. As much as I loved living in Wishing Well, the well of potential partners had dried up years ago. There was not a single man under thirty-five in this town that I hadn’t friend-zoned, dated, or one of my friends had dated. I was out of options, thus the dating apps.

  At this point in my life, I considered it a numbers game. The more people I met, the better chances I had to find the love I wanted.

&n
bsp; I was typing my reply when I heard my sister say, “Oh shit. I didn’t know he was back in town.”

  I looked up to see who my sister was referring to and my entire body went numb. I blinked several times, certain that I must be seeing things. Holden Reed was standing in the doorway.

  “Wasn’t he in the hospital?”

  There was a large lump in my throat as I swallowed. “He got out about a month ago.”

  Thirty-seven days to be exact, but if I told my sister that then I’d be revealing something that I’d managed to keep a secret for nearly thirty years. I was head over heels, madly in love with Holden Reed. It was a miracle that no one in town had figured it out. There wasn’t a ton to do in Wishing Well, so it left a lot of time for nosiness.

  Somehow, I’d managed to hide my feelings for him from everyone, including my very over-protective brother, Bentley, who just happened to be one of Holden’s best friends. Bentley was protective and I’d always appreciated his vigilant concern for my well-being, unlike Molly whose anthem was “Independent Women.” I’d always thought it was sweet the way that Bentley looked out for us, and it was a stark contrast to our oldest brother Brady’s general lack of interest or involvement in our lives.

  There was one person who knew how I felt. The man himself. Holden Reed. Or at least, I was pretty sure he did. He’d graduated early and left town when he was sixteen years old to pursue his career in the rodeo. The night before he left, his family had thrown him a graduation/going away party. I’d snuck into his room and slipped a letter declaring my undying love for him into his bag.

  In my fourteen-year-old mind, I’d been sure that he was going to show up at my doorstep the next morning before he left town, kiss me and tell me that he’d be back for me.

  That never happened.

  Then I’d spent the next four years in high school romanticizing that he would show up at school and tell me that he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about me. That I was the love of his life and he’d wait for me to finish school and then we could be together.

  That never happened.

  Senior year I’d dreamed, literally had dreams, about him showing up at my house and telling my prom date, “I’ll take it from here.” And then picking me up Officer and a Gentleman style and, you guessed it, proclaiming his love for me before getting down on one knee and asking me to be his wife.

  That never happened.

  One would think that this sort of delusional fantasizing would be something that I would outgrow, but nope. That was not the case. It had continued throughout college and even into adulthood.

  To this day I’d be teaching a class and catch myself daydreaming that Holden would walk in and Jerry Maguire me. He’d tell me that I complete him in front of my students.

  That never happened.

  But he was here now.

  He scanned the room and for a brief, glorious second our eyes met. I thought maybe all my visualizing had finally worked. Maybe he’d walk across the auditorium and tell me that he loved me. Maybe all the years I’d been pining away for him hadn’t been wasted. Or maybe he’d just smile, happy to see me. Instead, he looked away.

  Or maybe not.

  Chapter 3

  Holden

  “Life’s gonna knock ya down. Stayin’ down is a choice. So is gettin’ up.”

  ~ Maggie Calhoun

  As I scanned the room, it didn’t take me long to locate the reason I’d bailed on my plan to get the hell out of Dodge. Olivia was seated across the room with her sister. The second our eyes locked, my body responded the way it always did when I looked in her eyes. My palms grew damp, my pulse raced, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

  I looked away, unable to comprehend how she could still affect me this much after so many years. I’d felt like a magnet had pulled me out of my truck and forced me to follow behind her. It had always been that way with Olivia Calhoun. I was drawn to her. From the time we were kids, I’d just wanted to be near her.

  Before puberty hit, it was fairly innocent. I knew that I felt funny around her, but at seven years old, I’d had no clue what that meant. I’d just known that I liked it. Being near her was like lying under the sun after a long winter and I wanted to bask in her warmth.

  Thankfully, she’d been her brother Bentley’s shadow, so she’d been around a lot. She’d spent more time with him, and by default me, than she had with her twin Molly.

  I’d been friends with Bentley in kindergarten and first grade. But when Olivia came to school, I started spending every recess and lunch with him. The three of us had played more games of tetherball, hopscotch, wall ball, dodgeball, and kickball than I could count. Olivia was a tiny thing, but she always kept up with her brother and his friends.

  When I’d go over to Bentley’s house to spend the night or just hang out, Olivia was always with us. She played video games, rode bikes, watched movies, skateboarded, and she’d even been allowed in our tree fort.

  As the youngest of three boys, I didn’t have any sisters. The only girls I was around were the ones at school. But Olivia wasn’t like them. She was easy to talk to. She was a good listener and always said exactly what was on her mind. I never had to wonder what she was thinking. Honestly, as a kid, I’d considered her my best friend, not Bentley. I’d thought that was all I’d felt for her. But then one day everything changed. Puberty hit and I had to distance myself from her.

  Bentley had been overprotective of both of his twin sisters, but he was even more overprotective of Olivia. He definitely had a soft spot in his heart for her. I never thought it was because he played favorites. I’d always attributed it to the twins’ differences in personalities.

  For being a twin, Molly had always had an independent spirit. She liked spending time on her own. She was an observer and loved solo activities like reading or listening to music with her headphones on. Her favorite game to play after school or on the weekends was solitaire.

  Olivia had always been a social butterfly. She was sweet, funny, empathetic, and always wanted to take care of everyone in her life and do everything she could to make them happy. She loved her family and talked about wanting a family of her own for as long as I could remember.

  I’d always known that my life wasn’t going to be in this small town. I’d known that I was going to travel the world. Once I’d realized that what I felt for her was more than just friendship, I’d stayed away from her. Between her being Bentley’s little sister, being perfect, and me knowing we wanted totally different things in life, I’d known there was no point in coming clean to her about my feelings.

  The last two years I’d spent living in Wishing Well, I’d barely spoken to her. She’d gone from being the person I told everything to, to someone I avoided and ignored. It had broken my heart to do it, but I’d known it was for the best. If I’d ever acted on my feelings, it could only have ended badly. I’d have lost Olivia and Bentley.

  The way it stood now, I’d only lost Olivia. But then again, she’d never been mine to begin with. My friendship with Bentley had survived, though.

  “Holy shit, I can’t believe it!”

  I looked up and saw the man himself walking toward me with open arms. Speak of the devil.

  “You made it!” He pulled me into a one-arm man-hug, and I winced as his hand slapped my shoulder.

  “Hey man,” I tried not to let my discomfort bleed into my voice.

  My back pain was constant. It had been since I woke up in that hospital bed. Sometimes it was a searing, stabbing sensation. Sometimes it was more of an electric shock, a scorching hot tingling like when your arm falls asleep and wakes up, but a hundred times more intense. At other times it was a twisting, throbbing ache, but it was always there.

  The intensity of discomfort fluctuated, but it never went away. The episodes of acute pain could last minutes, hours, and even days. Sometimes there was a reason for my flare-ups, like overdoing it or sleeping wrong, but sometimes they happened completely out of the blue. Because of that, I’d de
cided not to let my back pain dictate my life. My first act of rebellion had been throwing away my pain medicine. The second act had been driving instead of flying home. As I stood there now, experiencing the consequences of my decisions, I could admit the latter may have been a bad idea.

  I did my best to disguise the pain that Bentley’s greeting had caused. My jaw clenched and I hoped that no one would notice the beads of sweat forming on my brow.

  “Jackson said that he told you about it, but we didn’t think you were coming.”

  I hadn’t been. I still wasn’t sure why I had. Maybe I was having a nervous breakdown.

  Bentley pointed over to where the newly engaged couple were surrounded by well-wishers. “You missed the big event.”

  I’d almost missed the entire event. If I hadn’t seen Olivia, there was a good chance I’d be halfway to Bumfuck, Nowheresville by now.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked, I could see the concern in his eyes.

  “Good.” I lied. I was in excruciating pain. But it wasn’t like I was going to bitch about it. “How are you doing man? How’s Maisy?”

  Jackson wasn’t my only friend to put a ring on it. Bentley had recently got engaged as well. And over the past couple of years, both my older brothers Hudson and Hayden had also settled down and gotten married. Maybe there was something in the water. If there was, I would need to drink bottled.

  “Maisy’s amazing. I’m a lucky, lucky man,” he spoke with a soul deep sincerity.

  It was so strange, growing up, I’d always thought that Maisy and Bentley couldn’t stand each other. But apparently, they’d worked past that.

  “Holden!” I heard a very familiar voice and turned to see my mom. Her hands were over her mouth and she looked like she’d seen a ghost. She reached out and touched my face. “You’re here.”